


Forgotten

by AnselaJonla



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Gen, Gender-Neutral Runner Five, POV First Person, Spoilers, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 13:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14546112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnselaJonla/pseuds/AnselaJonla
Summary: Runner Five has forgotten a lot of things since the zombie apocalypse happened.





	Forgotten

I’ve forgotten a lot of things.

I’ve forgotten what it feels like to not be wearing a headset every waking hour, to not be constantly listening for Sam’s voice in my ear. I feel naked without it now. I don’t really feel dressed in the morning until I’ve grabbed my headset from its charging station and switched it on. 

I’ve forgotten how it felt to be able to just go for a run, without having a pre-planned route and someone watching and guiding my every move. I used to vanish for hours, but that’s not safe any more. I miss it.

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be the only voice in my head. I used to daydream, to plot out stories that never got written, but at the end of the day that was just my imagination, my own voice. Moonchild isn’t my imagination, and she’s her own voice, her own life. I know I shouldn’t continue to listen to her, that I should tell someone that she’s still in my head, but I don’t want to. She’s not hurting anyone.

I’ve forgotten what it feels like to sleep without nightmares. To not wake up in the middle of the night, shivering and drenched in sweat even in the depths of winter, biting back a scream so I don’t wake my dorm mates. To not see my worst memories, made worse by my treacherous imagination, play out behind my eyes after a bad day.

I’ve forgotten how microwave ready meals taste. I’m sure they were better than those MREs Janine insisted on trying to pass off as food. I know they weren’t as good as what Abel’s kitchens can produce though. Or even what I can cook for myself, when I have a free evening and Janine lets me use the farmhouse kitchen. I never thought I was good at cooking, but I guess I never really tried. The microwave was too easy a shortcut to resist.

I’ve forgotten how it feels to be lonely, even when surrounded by people. I didn’t have any really close friends before Z-Day. No one outside of my family would really have noticed or cared if I went missing from their lives. No one was able to see if the smile on my face was real or fake. Here in Abel, I interact with fewer people than before, but I know more of them.

I’ve forgotten a lot of things, but I’ve also gained too.


End file.
